How To Be Clumsy

I'm clumsy. It's not even an opinion, it's a fact. I think it has to do with my constant need to touch things and not care about how I handle them.

Example: There was a time from age 8 to 15 where every time I would touch something in my friends room I'd break it. I don't know how, it was inevitable. The only reason why things don't break now is because I consciously do not touch anything.

You should see how I cook. I'm a good cook, but people are physically scared to be near me. When I cut garlic I had a friend close her eyes. It's why I believe I won't be hired at a restaurant (right? But how do they know from just my resume?).

Tonight after work I came home after a day of carrying a twenty pound baby and my clumsiness is unstoppable.
I can barely type and in ten minutes I have dropped- my bike key, a pen four times, my cell phone (this happens daily so doesn't really count), my date book, and my will to live.

I think I'll stop typing before the computer ends up in two pieces.

Thanks for reading!

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