E-How shows the internet savvy How To's from pot roasts to hair colour.
But what about the real issues? E-Huh? is Alessandra's classic take on the classic How-To. From "How To Ask People About Their Religions Without Offending Them" to "How To Survive A Flight With A Stop-Over." Alessandra classically tackles these problems in her classic way. Classic-Al!
OMG I have not written an Al's Views in weeks. Well first off, I have many views, I'm just too scattered to put them all down.
Now I'm sure you're thinking, "Uh-oh this is going to be an Al's Views about the election tomorrow", well no it's not because I don't know who to vote for and do you remember that show Uh-Oh? Best YTV show by far.
Now when I think back on that show it seems to me to be an excuse to just humiliate and beat young children. Every challenge was disgusting and painful looking, but the kids were really into it.
I am sure when that show was being pitched to YTV there must have been one person in that room saying,
"Now wait a minute guys; we're going to go to schools, get groups of children to do painful and degrading acts, not pay them and the children will literally be begging to go on this show. I don't know about this."
Well all I can say is that guy must have been fired because the kids in my class were suicidal about getting on that show. I remember the grade ahead of mine got to be audience members and the anger that was had in my class that day.
But like I have said time and time again, kids are nuts. There used to be a game that let you make your own candy that was shaped like insects. My friend had it. It was disgusting, but boy was I jealous.
Now kids are all hopped up on Wii and Net Flix and iPad.
I miss the simpler times of The Game of Life and watching your friend on Uh-Oh getting just destroyed by a bowl of spaghetti in grape jelly.
Thanks for reading!
I really wanted the t-shirt version of this. Badly!
Oh my god I was almost about to go to sleep when I realized I was going to miss out writing Al's Views!
I was lying in my bed trying to sleep because I'm tired (obvi) but the image of Rufus Wainwright slowly walking across a stage silently, in a giant, glittery cape kept flashing through my mind.
Now I know you're all thinking, "Whaa?", but there's a backstory.
A few months ago I saw Rufus Wainwright in concert with my friends Tanya and Kat. Tanya had never been to a concert before in her life.
I, having been to many concerts, acting like a veteren kept saying, "Oh concerts are the best, they're not like theatre. You can drink, arrive late. Anything goes at a concert".
Well anything did not go. We get there with two minutes to spare and there are two large signs saying, "Latecomers will not be allowed in", and "No food or drink inside".
I turned to Tanya and was like, "This is not how a concert usually is".
Then when we get inside, someone comes on stage explaining that the first half of the concert will be a song cycle where the audience is forbidden to clap.
I then turned to Tanya and was like, "This is not how a concert usually goes. And it was definitely not how a concert usually went.
Rufus comes on stage in dead silence with a twenty-foot cape trailing behind him. And the cape glittered (in case you didn't know RW is gay, the cape subtly let you know).
He walked to the piano for at least four minutes, but by thirty seconds I was punching my leg in order to stop myself from bursting into laughter. I eventually laughed into my purse. It was just so uncomfortably strange.
The song cycle then commenced where not a single word was audible and some songs were in French. So basically if one was supposed to get the story of the cycle, it wasn't happening.
The only song you could make out the words to, was one where he kept saying, "Martha pick up the phone, Maaaaarrrrrttttha, pick up the phone".
His sister's name is Martha and I guess she isn't good at answering her cell. Plus there was a projection behind him of a single eye in black make-up slowly opening and closing. Then there was the same black eye, but multiples of it, various sizes all over the screen. It was two parts unpleasent with a sprig of ridiculously boring.
Then the second half of the concert was a regular music concert with applause and everything. I just have to take Tanya to a regular concert where we can drink, applaud, laugh and enjoy ourselves.
But now as I try to get to sleep, Rufus is ever so slowly walking across my mind's eye.
This must be the rehearsal cape, cause the one I saw sparkled.
Hey all. I woke up this morning at 7:30 AM, to do a workout at 8 AM. I have joined my sister's personal trainer friend's Spring Workout Group (I was invited to do so on Facebook).
I was very excited and terrified to workout that early on a Sunday, but I have worked out earlier (not to brag or anything).
Once when I was desperately trying to get a part-time job in mid-November (turns out I'm unhirable, who knew? Well the entire retail workforce did, but that's besides the point), I got a job interivew at Lululemon.
The happy, perky, tall girls of Lululemon informed me that the interview would be in two parts. The first part would be a hour long spinning class. The second part would be the actual interview. Oh and by the by, the class starts at 6:30 AM so then you can get your workout out of the way first thing, isn't that clever?
This job interview combined the two things I truly hate: job interviews and being judged while exercising.
Needless to say I went, at 6:30 in the morning (technically 6:15 because you had to sign up for the class before hand), and did a hour long spinning class.
Oh, and I didn't get the job. I blame my height. The two girls interviewing me were impossibly tall.
So an eight AM workout didn't seem too daunting.
However the night before I went to bed with a full tummy. This is a no-no for me usually just out of principle but last night I discovered that it's a practical rule too.
If you are anything like me you watched The Cosby Show growing up (Sidenote: His name on the show is Cliff Huxtable. Why is it called The Cosby Show, it should be called, The Huxtable Show!). There was one episode that really stayed with me, and that was the one where Cliff ate junk food before going to bed and he had nightmares all night.
Well whoever wrote that episode is writing it based on fact. I had crazy nightmares all night long. One of them included me owning a bull dog that moved in slow motion yet still killed my cat and repeatedly bit me. I could feel the bites!
Another dream had my legs feel super heavy and I couldn't move away from the gathering darkness, it was spooky!
But I still woke up, did the workout and vowed to never eat before bed.
Thanks for reading.
Now please enjoy the entire episode of "Cliff's Nightmare"
Ola. I'm in a not Toronto state of mind.
I keep viewing foreign films so that I can imagine for an hour, or so, that I don't live the saddest looking place in Canada (yah that's right I said it Southern Ontario, not a scenic area. Disagree? Go North on Bathurst way past Steels). However I keep being disappointed.
I saw Biutiful which was set in Barcelona, great film, not very scenic though. It shows all the places you wouldn't want to go in Spain. It's like The Vice Guide To Travel: Barcelona Edition, if there was one. Example: If you ever wonder where the sweat shops are in Barcelona, you get a tour of them in this movie (isn't it funny that movie is the word we use for films. It's the equivalent of saying talkie. I think I'm gonna bring back that term, talkie. Oh boy what a talkie I saw last night! Yeah, I like it).
Then last night I went to see a talkie called Certified Copy. I knew nothing of it except that The Toronto Star gave it four stars, Juliet Binoche won a Best Actress award at Cannes, and it is set in Tuscany. Plus they speak French, English and Italian. I was very excited.
Ever since I visited Italy last year, I'm all about seeing it on film. The cool thing about Italian scenery is that it does not need exaggeration. You know how sometimes you see things on film and then in real life it's quite underwhelming. Well Italy is the opposite. You can't begin to show how breath-taking amazingly stupid pretty it all is on film. Movies/talkies capture very limited views of Italia, in comparison. But are still worth-while, apparently.
So I was all up for this film/talkie, until it started. I do not know what movie/talkie the reviewer and everyone at Cannes was watching but it was so pretentiously unwatchable.
There were only two actors in it and the man character was poo. It took a while to understand how bad he was because he was speaking various languages throughout so I thought maybe it was a character choice to be a bad actor but no, he was just poo.
I don't want to judge (but I will and I do, often) but you'd think at the age of fifty plus you would get better as an actor by default, you know experience etc, but not this guy. I do not want to know what he was like acting-wise at twenty.
The worst part was all the camera shots were tight so you couldn't see the background, which the characters made constant reference to. The scene that I walked out on was the two actors discussing the beauty of a sculpture in front of them, but the movie only showed the feet of the art. Ack. This was after an hour of this kind of torture so I left. I usually stay to the end of movies but nerts to that.
So I am going to try one more talkie tonight. I rented something called Late August- Early September. It's French, it has the guy from The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and it BEST be showing some good scenery (and romance, I want to be swept away dammit!), or else I guess I'm going to have to leave the country. Wish me luck.
Hey all this is a very special Al's Views because it's the eighth one, and my lucky number is eight (I'm born March 8, 1988; so I literally own this number. I have a contract).
Anyways so I have had not one but two requests on what to write about. So I'm going to save one for Thursday, because Thursday's my request day (just reminding y'all), and one I will discuss now.
My friend Krystyna sent me this email:
I have a question for Classic-Al,
So im sitting at a table in the library. This guy asks if he can sit at the table. Not a problem there is lots of room. So we are working quietly away. Then, he asks me if I believe in god. This guy doesn't look like a lunatic FYI. I'm like I dont really know, blah blah blah. Then he tells me that he's seen god. And I'm like OKAY you really are a lunatic...But all I can answer is "ohhhh okay..." And then it's awkward. Anyways how do you react when someone tells you they have seen god?
Well first off I think I would ask him to define god. Then I would ask him in excruciating detail what he saw. I'd need to know everything. Was he human like? Was he a he? Was he a she? Was it Oprah? Because it might have been, and I would not fault you at all if you thought it was Oprah. I think if I saw Oprah in real life I'd tell people I have seen the "god" (of daytime TV).
Most people, I would assume, would do their best to get out of a conversation like this, but not me. As you all know I have a PhD in crazy, plus I deal with the crazies everyday (my father and ninety percent of his friends) so non-sensical conversations excite me.
In the end though, I feel like I will never be fully satisfied with his answer, because my own definition of god is something that my human being brain can and never will understand as long as I live on earth.
Some people might call that a cop out, but I think issues like god, death, and nothingness (think about it you can never think of nothing, because when you're thinking of nothing, you're still thinking about thinking about nothing... Cosmic) are just too big for this world and I like it like that.
God, to me, is more of a feeling (wrong word, but you know what I mean) than a physical thing you can see.
But in the end, this guy either has absolutley NO idea how to hit on women, or he's actually seen god. Either way, the kid needs help.
My second thing that I wanted to have a view on is the actor Javier Bardem. So I love him. He's amazing. I know i just dedicated an entire post to Jon Hamm, but this Bardem is killing me with his amazingness. Plus it's my lucky number day, and I can make this post as long as I want to!
Last week I saw him in Biutiful, and he did such an incredible performance, it was like seeing god (OMG, maybe the guy just saw Javier in Biutiful, and so he was kind of telling the truth).
No offense to Colin Firth, but Bardem was too good he should have definitely won the Oscar. However the film Biutiful is so difficult and tragic, it should be renamed Hard To Watch (Shout out to Tracy Jordan).
The second thing I saw Javier in this week was just his part in Eat, Pray, Love. I know people love to shit on this film (my mom says the only thing she remebers about the movie is Julia Roberts' mouth, and not in a good way) but the Bali part is really lovely. And Javier is too much. His accent is adorable, and he says things like " I make a good mixed tape of a the Sting" and, "Son, you cross-a the line." I love his use of "a".
So if you feel like see a really cute and pretty romantic comedy, watch the last thirty minutes of Eat, Pray, Love.
Btw, I went to a psychic this week (for fun, relax I can feel the judgement through the computer) who told me that my soulmate will be tan and of Mediterranean descent, so obviously it's going to be Javier Bardem... Right? Oh, he's married to and has a baby with Penelope Cruz. Oh also I don't know him.. Crap.
Oh so sad that I did not write on my blog yesterday. How could I have forgotten? I did nothing during the day. Well I did go grocery shopping, and took an epic nap, but that took three four hours tops. I have no excuse. The worst part is that now the number of posts won't match up with the number of days in the month. Oh well. Brush my self off and try again (shout out to Aaliyah).
It's now my favourite post of the week Al's Views.
I think it's my favourite because of how different it is from my other posts in which my views come from Alessandra. However today's views come straight from Al.
Now I know you're thinking, "She sounds drunk." But no, I was drunk (there's a difference), and now I'm very, very, very tired. So tired that it feels like I have a fever and I sometimes forget what I'm doing. I guess you could say I'm writing in the moment (This sentence took five minutes to write because I forgot what I was trying to say).
So this is all coming at you live. Or as live as writing could be. Oh my god, imagine if writing could come at you live? It would probably look like a person writing on a computer/paper and an audience reading behind his/her shoulder as it was happening. It would be the most inconvenient form of entertainment for everyone involved.
Well I'm tired now so I'm going to stop my views but I will say that I saw Zach Galifinakis' opening monologue on Saturday Night Live, and it was the greatest piece of comedy I have seen in a very long time. It was as good as I am tired (get it?). But I can't post it because I live in Canada and NBC hates Canada. So yeah. It was funny.
Hey all. So I waited too long to write my post and now I'm tired and I have to go to bed early because I'm working in the morning (something I haven't done in quite the while).
Now I know when I post this it will say that it's been posted at 9:00 PM, but that's just not true. For some reason my blogsite has decided that it's on west coast time, so any time I mention time in my post it just doesn't sync up and that bothers me big time.
Like I made a big deal a while back about missing my deadline and writing at one in the morning therefore I hadn't written every day in the month so I broke my own contract. However when I published the post, it said I had written it at 11 PM, making me seem like a liar.
Plus I talk a lot about writing before bed, and when I publish those posts it just makes me feel like a nerdy senior citizen (but in all fairness I do sleep as much as the average senior citizen, and if it was socially acceptable I would sleep fifteen hours a day).
I'm sure you're all thinking, "Why doesn't she just figure out how to make the time in the proper zone." Well excuse me, judgemental, and I'm pretty sure you're mixing me up with someone who is computer literate.
Well, it's time for me to go to bed now since I just yurped (yawned and burped), and I'm going to bed at 12:14 AM, ok!
I did it. I won my Oscar pool. It was very exciting for me, less so for Mina. She was all, "Why do you get so mean?" "You're really having a competition with yourself," etc, etc. I won by two categories so not that much of a victory but good enough. Let's just say it was a Biutiful win (get it? Cause I'm going to force Mina to see Biutiful for my prize, plus I want my wooden spoon dammit!).
As for the actual show, it was ok. Half way through the night I got a little bored. James Franco wasn't used as much as I would have liked. For example he could have done an Acting with James Franco segment that he does on Funny or Die (it's very enjoyable and Dave his little bro is too cute and hilarious). He also could have expressed his love for me by dying his hair blonde and reenacting my favourite scenes from Freaks and Geeks, but I guess the Oscars does cater to a broader and less me audience.
Since I won and I feel in generous mood I am going to say nice things about the actors that won in the major categories.
Colin Firth: Umm you are the most adorable man in the world. I feel like technically you shouldn't be attractive but dammit you are. I enjoyed the clip they showed from your movie when you cried about not being able to be a king. Oh I just want to pinch you! Natalie Portman: Oh Natalie, you're pregnant, beautiful, talented, engaged, and was in my favourite movie of the year. On top of that I'm only like thiry-five percent jealous of you because you seem like someone I would want to hang out with.
Also when I watched you in the post-show press junket, you handled the stupidest questions ever so politely. Example: Q-"Natalie are you going to name your unborn son Oscar?" R-"Actually I don't know the sex of my child, but no Oscar will probably not be the name."
Good job, I would have been super sarcastic. Plus you proove my theory that all beautiful women are named Natalie (find me an ugly Natalie, just try!). Melissa Leo: Where do I start? Seriously, I had no idea who you were until The Fighter and even now you are unrecognizable compared to your character. I did enjoy that you said "fuck" in your acceptance speech. But also it's a shame you said "fuck", because after all your hard work as an actor and winning against all odds the Academy Award, you will always be known as the girl who said "fuck". Christian Bale: I like that you have a cockney accent. I don't like that you look like Charles Manson. I like your work in The Fighter. I don't like how unbelievably attracted I was to you in American Psycho, it made me think long and hard about the kind of person I am.
So hurray for the winners, hurray for Hollywood, hurray for me, and it hurts me to admit this, but hurray for Anne Hathaway. I liked her hosting abilities. She was, dare I say, sincere. That and all her dresses were wicked awsome amazing.
So another Oscars (my Christmas) has come and gone, it's a little sad but I'm happy I was able to share it with you all! Have a good night.
Thanks for reading!!
I miss blonde James Franco, it was simpler times then
PS. Shout out to Elly who sat through the Oscars with me and my cat who in the end forced her to go home with an allergic reaction. There is only one real rule I adhere to in life: If Skyla sits next to you sprinkle her with water in the face until she leaves, I don't care how cute you think she is.
Hello. It's Sunday. It's snowing. You know what that means, flu season. This post is dedicated to my number one sugar/stage mama Anisa K, or the second A to my double A battery. She's not feeling too well all the way up there in Francais so this is a post of all the ways that I cure the common cold.
So I get sick. A LOT. Now that I am finished with the schooling aspect of my life I actually have yet to get a cold this year (knock on wood...do it!) However I did get the stomach flu twice, and I have been hung over like nobody's business this year (even only after three drinks!).
Now in my schooling life I got sick four times a year without fail. When I visualize my immune system I see it like a tiny dandlion, and the slightest wind just destoying all the tiny little cottony petals.
In theatre school we were marked on attendance (because what the hell else can they really mark you on? I went to clown school- literally) so basically they would punish you if you got sick. Man, they were jerks. Anyways, you getting sick could mean actually failing a course so here are the ways I staved off the inevitable illnesses:
-Neti Pot. Yes Oprah invented this. Yes you have to stick luke warm water up your nose but it totally works. When I got my nose pierced the nice Dutch man told me that it cut down illness in the Dutch army by ninety percent. I then laughed and said, "The Dutch have an army?" he then stabbed my nose with a sharp needle.
BTW: Make sure the water is not too cold or too hot because major ouch. Also use the the saline solution packets they give you, because replacing it with just salt with burn the motherfucking shit out of your nose.
- Boil a thimble of brandy, then add honey and chili peppers. Sip this slowly before you go to bed. It makes you fall asleep instantly and really soothes your throat. But don't do more than a shots worth because that's how you weaken your immune system, by getting drunk. This worked for me twice and then never again. It either is a placebo effect I grew out of or just different reasons for being sick.
-Prayer. Yes, like the common birth control plan, prayer is something I have definitely resorted to. I remember in second year having a major assignement due the next day and lying in my bed saying over and over, "You are healthy. You can breathe out of your nose. You feel amazing." It worked for the morning the next day, but then I had to go home in the afternoon because I ran a very high fever. Still positive thinking never hurts!
-Garlic Tea. It's exactly what you think it is, an entire clove of garlic in hot water. This worked well for me until it made me vomit. I also stank like garlic, so I had even more incentive to want to run home. Well at least I was sick and no one came near me. Side note: garlic is as strong as a regualr antibiotic. The more you know!
-Just stay home. It is so annoying that people expect you to show up when you feel like shit. Like why? You don't like going into work sick, why do you want to see others do the same? If you sleep for a solid day and night, all these home remedies are made moo point (a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter. Shout out to Joey Tribiani!)
Hope these were helpful and to all my readers (if you exist) feel better (especially my little Anisa!!! Miss you let's skype<3)
Thanks for reading!
Hello and welcome to a Grammy themed edition of Al's Views.
So I just finished watching the Grammys. They were good. I missed Lady Gaga's performance and that was really the only reason why I wanted to see them. But yeah, still good. However some singers that I know can sing sang flat like Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber (I'm a belieber!). I don't know why, was it too loud to hear? The same thing happened to Taylor Swift last year. Maybe the Grammy stage makes you flat if you are a successful performer under the age of twenty.
Some group called Lady Antebellum won a lot (I am apparently the only person in the world that does not know who they are. Once I was in the car with my sisters and one of their songs came on and both Sam and Vanessa knew all the words. How did this pass by me? I love the country pop!). They won everything, except for album of the year. That doesn't really make sense to me. I mean, if they have the best record, the best song, the best single, why wouldn't they have the best album? Isn't the best song on the best album? It just don't make no sense.
Drake didn't win and that made me sad. I like Drake. He tried to get into a semi-formal I was at in grade eleven and Oakwood didn't let him. Plus he makes me feel like I know hip-hop, when I really have no idea about any kind of music. Basically if it is in a t.v show or film I know the song. Other than those two mediums, I need people to physically force me to listen to a song for me to discover it. Except for Elton John. Elton just sort of happened in grade eight. But wait, now that I think about it Elton John was on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Never mind. He' still DA BEST!
I need a music intervention. Thank god for 8tracks.com or else I would be listening to Lady Antebellum's single from 2010, and that's lame man. Side Note: I do love 8tracks but it's hipsterness is starting to get out of control. Tonight I heard a hipster version of Daft Punk's "Digital Love" and I thought, isn't Daft Punk hipster enough? However I did like what they did in Tron. Side Note: How freaking hideous does Michael Sheen look in Tron. Terrifying. I have to refer back to my previous post of Michael Sheen what is up with you? Kate Beckinsale and Rachel McAdams! You look like an uncomfortable uncle.
Anyways even though I am more invested in the Oscars I really like the Grammy's. I learn from it and you don't always get that in an awards show.
Now enjoy the smooth sounds of a new artist (to me) Lady Antebellum (They're country, yea!)
Thanks for reading!
Hello all and welcome to another edition of Al's Views.
Tomorrow I am taking my headshots and I am having serious issues with deciding what to wear. Well actually, I haven't even opened my closet because my closet is a disaster. So if I open my closet to start the decision of what to wear I will inevitably have to clean my closet. But I can't clean my closet because if I clean my closet I'll have to add a bar at the top of the closet because I want to start to hang my clothes. So if I add a bar that means I have to measure my closet, go to a hardware store, buy a bar, install the bar AND then start to clean my closet. Oh my god, I'm exhausted just thinking about it. So instead of actually choosing the clothes that I own (somewhere in my room that I dare not mention) I have been looking in Marie Claire and NYLON magazines, and have been playing my favourite game of what would I wear if I could wear something from the magazine.
NYLON's offering (Fig. 1):
So I guess if I wanted to look super trendy (trendy being ironically not trendy) I should paint a fox on one of my Nonna's sweaters.
{SIDE NOTE- I love my Nonna and miss her so much, but what she has left me are three of the greatest sweaters I have ever owned (Fig.2). You can't really tell by that picture, but the sweater is black with electric blue houndstoothish print. I love it!}
But I guess if I were to follow the NYLON trend the casting agents would be too distracted by the fact that there is both my face and a fox's face in the picture and that's just asking not to be hired. So no to NYLON. Oh and I love how serious the Olsen twins are about fashion. Almost as serious as they are about pizza, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6DA_WwO90c. (Special thanks to Stella Melchiori for showing me this.)
Marie Claire's offering (Fig 3):
Ok, so this magazine clearly wins. I enjoy everything about this photo. Starting with the model. Clemence Poesy was so delightful in Gossip Girl and 127 Hours. Plus she has the uncanny ability of being really beautiful, modelly, perfect-looking but I don't feel any jealousy. It helps that she was born in '82 (but I swear to god if she was born in '88!). Anyways the look is flawless- sweet hair, cool jacket, the mixing of prints, high waisted jeans; I am all about this photo.
Conclusion:
So I guess I haven't come any closer to figuring out what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I have come closer to the fact that I have a magazine buying addiction and I need to start limiting myself to like three a month... or four... one or two magazines a week, but that's it!
Thanks for reading!
Fig. 2
Fig. 1
Fig. 3
PS. Please excuse Fig.3 for not being exactly in the middle. It took me half an hour just to get the pictures in that order so I'm not touching anything, unless I touch the computer by throwing it out the window.
PPS. Sam, no worries I am treating your laptop with the utmost respect.
I think every Sunday is now going to be known as "Al's Views," where the reading audience gets an uncensored look into what is in my brain!
Because I babysit all the time I've really started to think about what my thought process was like when I was a kid. This is because sometimes kids say things that blow my mind and also make no sense. Like this morning when I was babysitting, the kid I was watching said, "I'm in a bad mood now. I need to go into my room and put on a pair of pants."
So yeah I'm not sure what the pants, mood correlation is, but here's some of the things that I thought made sense when I was a kid.
I thought throwing up meant you throw a bird up in the air, hence throwing up. The first conscious time I threw up, I was four, and I said to my dad when it was over, "That's what throwing up is!"
Me, my sister Sam, and friend Natalie thought Club Monaco was a club, so one of us would turn the lights on and off while two of us would dance in the room screaming, "Club Monaco."
Every time I would see any sport/dance/activity on television I thought I could do it perfectly. Once after seeing Elvis Stojko skating, I put oil on my feet and skid across the basement floor. My mom cried.
Once when my sister Vanessa was sick, I was jealous that she got to stay home from school, but because I was four I didn't know how to express how I was feeling so I smashed my favourite Disney record over her head.
I also used to chase Vanessa with a fork, I do not remember the motive behind that move.
When I was three we had two kittens named Moe and Sooty. We were going to a picnic one day and I really wanted them to come, but I didn't want my mom to know. So I decided to stick them in the cooler. However because I was worried my mom would see them there, I put them in the tiny section on top of the large lid. I then sat on the lid. Just so you all know I'm not a sociopath, I just wanted the kittens to be a part of my day.
I used to look in the mirror as a six year old and think I had the face of an adult but the teeth of a child, and if I could just hide my teeth everyone would think I was twenty. I would pray at night for adult teeth.
When I got "Pocahontas" for my fifth birthday, I vowed to watch it everyday. And I did. It was like a regime.
Carmen Sandiego was a real person to me.
I believed in the Tooth Fairy more then I have ever believed in anything.
Now you've all learned where the classic in Classic-Al originated. Classic.
Thanks for reading!
One of the few times I was showing love to Vanessa, instead of abusing her
