How To Babysit

Hello. Day two. Blog-a-thon.

So yesterday afternoon I was watching, "Keeping Up With The Kardashians". Yeah I'm not proud but it's always on so it’s inevitable. Anyways, like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I am now taking care of a jerk seven year old. How do these two relate? 

Let me give you some back story on the kid I'm babysitting. He's seven. He verbally abuses me, calling me a moron, maniac, and on more then one occasion "woman," like the way a racist hill-billy would use it. He punches, kicks and threatens to punch me by holding his fist in a stationary manner in front of my face and then turns red. This fake-out punch is the strangest thing I have ever experienced especially because the kid cannot weigh more than thirty pounds. The kid also ignores me when he sees me, and throws his winter jacket and knapsack at me like I’m supposed to carry them like a sherpa. Needless to say, not pleasant. 

Now, let me give you some back story on what happened in “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”. The clan travels to Las Vegas where Kourtney’s jerk boyfriend and unfortunate baby-daddy gets super drunk. Scott (the bf) begins to verbally abuse those around him, calling Kris Jenner a moron and the girl the Kardashian brother is seeing a “woman” in the hill-billy racist way. He then becomes violent (who doesn’t after a two-four of vodka) kicking the Kardashian brother (who even though he is by blood a Kardashian he just has no place on that show), punching him, and doing this weird fake-out punch to a waiter (Scott then stuffs a hundred dollar bill down the waiters throat). Worst than that, he ignores everyone around him like some sort of sociopathic baby.

Do you see a connection here? The only way I can survive the mean seven-year old is to treat him like a belligerent drunkard. So today when I go to his school to pick him up I will approach him with bouncers (two just in case) and ask him to step off the property. When he refuses such request, I will sit him down and tell him there is another way, handing him AA pamphlets. Hopefully reason at this point will influence the kid’s decision and we’ll be able to walk through the twelve steps as easily as our walk home from school. 

So when going to T.V for guidance in child-care, skip “Super Nanny” and watch the Kardashian family for insight on how seven-year olds actually are. Reality T.V has never been so real.

              

           Look to this guy to deal 
                with this little guy