Al's Views 4

Hello. It's Sunday. It's snowing. You know what that means, flu season. This post is dedicated to my number one sugar/stage mama Anisa K, or the second A to my double A battery. She's not feeling too well all the way up there in Francais so this is a post of all the ways that I cure the common cold.

So I get sick. A LOT. Now that I am finished with the schooling aspect of my life I actually have yet to get a cold this year (knock on wood...do it!) However I did get the stomach flu twice, and I have been hung over like nobody's business this year (even only after three drinks!).
Now in my schooling life I got sick four times a year without fail. When I visualize my immune system I see it like a tiny dandlion, and the slightest wind just destoying all the tiny little cottony petals.
In theatre school we were marked on attendance (because what the hell else can they really mark you on? I went to clown school- literally) so basically they would punish you if you got sick. Man, they were jerks. Anyways, you getting sick could mean actually failing a course so here are the ways I staved off the inevitable illnesses:

-Neti Pot. Yes Oprah invented this. Yes you have to stick luke warm water up your nose but it totally works. When I got my nose pierced the nice Dutch man told me that it cut down illness in the Dutch army by ninety percent. I then laughed and said, "The Dutch have an army?" he then stabbed my nose with a sharp needle.
BTW: Make sure the water is not too cold or too hot because major ouch. Also use the the saline solution packets they give you, because replacing it with just salt with burn the motherfucking shit out of your nose.
- Boil a thimble of brandy, then add honey and chili peppers. Sip this slowly before you go to bed. It makes you fall asleep instantly and really soothes your throat. But don't do more than a shots worth because that's how you weaken your immune system, by getting drunk. This worked for me twice and then never again. It either is a placebo effect I grew out of or just different reasons for being sick.
-Prayer. Yes, like the common birth control plan, prayer is something I have definitely resorted to. I remember in second year having a major assignement due the next day and lying in my bed saying over and over, "You are healthy. You can breathe out of your nose. You feel amazing." It worked for the morning the next day, but then I had to go home in the afternoon because I ran a very high fever. Still positive thinking never hurts!
-Garlic Tea. It's exactly what you think it is, an entire clove of garlic in hot water. This worked well for me until it made me vomit. I also stank like garlic, so I had even more incentive to want to run home. Well at least I was sick and no one came near me. Side note: garlic is as strong as a regualr antibiotic. The more you know!
-Just stay home. It is so annoying that people expect you to show up when you feel like shit. Like why? You don't like going into work sick, why do you want to see others do the same? If you sleep for a solid day and night, all these home remedies are made moo point (a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter. Shout out to Joey Tribiani!)

Hope these were helpful and to all my readers (if you exist) feel better (especially my little Anisa!!! Miss you let's skype<3)
Thanks for reading!

What does your immune system look like?