How To Write A Post In Five Minutes

That's right. I have combined both my How To Be Late post with my How To Be Lazy. It's only natural. They were destined to meet.

Some hints on how to get the most for your money while trying to write a post in a super fast way is to not stop writitng. Basically anything that pops into your head, you write.

Watermelon. I miss watermelon. I guess it's not appropriate to eat watermelon in the winter months. It's not in season. But if we were to eat everything in season all we would have is frozen dirt. And the zucchini plant in my backyard that never stops growing. It's the vegetable version of a postman. When the atomic bomb comes all that will be left are the roaches and that zucchini plant, that no one in my family planted.

This summer I tried to get into gardening. I got my overalls on and my crocs, went into the front yard and thought I'd start by pulling out weeds. Three hours later, after discovering most of my front yard had been turned into sand by what I can only imagine zillions of ants, I quit and never went back. Literally. The gardening tools I used are still down there.

My eyes burn. I'm too young for cataracts but sometimes I think it's possible. Well actually, I'm not exactly sure what cataracts are but alls I knows is my sight has gotten worse and my eyes burn like I've been writing for hours (When in actuality it's been four minutes and ten seconds). I learned the word cataracts from a monologue I studied last year. I also learned about the ailment gout from a monologue I studied in grade nine. If I keep studying monologues maybe one day I'll be a real live doctor!

Well this has been five minutes. Thanks for reading!

Yum!