How To Be Quiet

Hey all. So I am babysitting again, apparently I am trying to break some sort of record. The baby is asleep, but not really. I can hear him talking to himself, which is really hilarious if you stop and think about it. What is he saying? He's having a pretty intense conversation with himself, probably just rehashing the days events,
"Well I woke up, ate some mush, fell asleep due to all the energy I used up during breakfast, woke up, went for a ride in the stroller, had people talk at me, discovered that I can drop things on the ground, dropped my food on the ground for half an hour, cried because I could, and now I'm lying in my crib listening to lullaby Radiohead. What a day."

So since the baby isn't asleep yet I have to walk around the house like a ninja cat (shout out to Alex Fallis). When you're trying to be quiet you realize how loud things really are. For some reason the house that I am in has crazy creaky floors, stairs and furniture. You sit on a chair and it sounds like a rusted bicycle.
Also, by nature I am NOT a quiet person. I am damn loud all the time. I often have to regulate the volume of my voice. I can't help it. It's the family I come from, if you don't scream you don't talk. Basically I am the polar opposite of the parents that I am babysitting for tonight. I'm pretty sure their combined weights are about one-hundred and ninety pounds. They also have a deck of cards amount of chicken with no skin on it for dinner with a few shreds of lettuce, which after eating they remark, "Woo, I am full."
There's nothing wrong with these kind of people, I am just in awe of them.
I feel that my mere presence is too intense for them. I find my self whispering in their home and looking in their fridge to find out all they have is grapefruit juice and flatbread.
But these people are not alone in their ways. I once babysat for a couple that would eat dinner, have literally four pieces of tortellini left and save it as if that was a meal for the next day. I just want to know how they survive. Don't they ever feel the need to yell or eat an entire bowl of pasta?

I think I will do a sociological experiment where I will be smaller and quieter. I will have half a grapefruit for breakfast and ten almonds for snack. I will speak in a quiet voice, listen to Tom Waits and read a book as opposed to my blasting of GirlTalk and constant re-watching of "The Larry Sanders Show". I will wear my hair straight and flat as opposed to my just got electricuted-look I am so fond of.

Ahh, but this could never be. Just thinking of doing this exhausts me. I'm loud and messy, that's my thing and I will own it, dammit! But for tonight, while the baby is chattering away I can pretend for a little while that I am quiet, at least until I accidentally drop something on the floor (it's bound to happen so I bulid it into my day).

Thanks for reading!

Well if they can do it!