How To Be Manipulative (In A Good Way-ish)

So today I tricked the kid I babysit into doing his homework. I told him that if he wrote half a page of his journal entry, I would write a page and a half on my fingernails in the same amount of time. 

He said it couldn't be done. Little does he know I blog about insignificant things everyday. So I can write a page and a half about anything whether it be nails or eyelashes (which will be my next trick in getting him to do his spelling). 

However the kid always always gets a leg up because as we were in the middle of this "bet", he made another wager causing me to pay him a dollar a day for the next week. 

I don't know how he did this. 

Anyways here is a manifesto on my fingernails.

Fingernails

I don't really understand why I always bite my nails. I get expensive manicures to correct this habit but I end up biting them unconsciously.
Isn't it weird how you do things without realizing that you have done them. No other animal in the world does this. You never see seagulls mindlessly plucking out their feather. You don't see flies gnawing on their wings.
It's unsettling that I have this habit at all. If you really break it down it is literally a filthy habit. Throughout the day I touch everything from scratching the back of my ear to unconsciously (once again) scratching off a bottle's label.
I am a serious fidgeter. Even as I write this I have an urge to tear at the little bits of paper sticking off the sides of the page. Actually nothing would give me more pleasure than to tear out each page of this notebook methodically into small, little pieces. Like confetti. If human beings had that job I would be an unbelievably happy confetti maker.
However back to nail biting. It's a vicious cycle because I bite my nails to calm myself, but seeing my mangled digits stresses me to no end.
Well I don't get completely stressed, I have a life. A life that revolves around fingernails.
So I won't abuse my nails by biting them. I'll treat them with the utmost respect. My fingernails- it's a love and hate thing.

This is what the kid wrote at the same time

Pillow Fighting

I like to play pillow fighting. I usually play with Malcolm and Ethan.
We play everyman for himself.
I always win because I have the best pillow and the best moves.
When we pillow fight we say, "Are you cussing with me?!"

I have pillow fought with the boy and both his moves and pillow are sweet. And I do cuss wit' him!

Thanks for reading!

What do you think is harder to write about?